My World Exploded: How to Breathe When You Hear the 'C-Word'
There are moments in life that shatter everything you thought you knew. For me, it was hearing those three words: "You have cancer."
One minute, you’re navigating the usual chaos of life: work, family, the endless to-do list. Next, your entire world tilts off its axis. It doesn't just shift; it explodes into a thousand questions, contradictions, and a tidal wave of medical jargon you suddenly have to learn.
I get it. That initial shock? The disbelief? The gut-wrenching fear? It’s overwhelming. Honestly, "bonkers" felt like the only word to describe it.
Welcome to Your Bonkers Moment: You Are Not Alone
Before we go any further, I want you to know something absolutely crucial:
You are not alone.
I remember sitting there, numb, as the word "cancer" hovered unspoken, then suddenly revealed. My first instinct was to somehow comfort the doctor who’d slipped up. Crazy, right? But that's the kind of surreal absurdity that hits you. It's a "battlefield" of bizarre thoughts.
You might feel a jumble of emotions right now:
Overwhelming fear and anxiety: Will I survive? Will I ever feel normal again? This journey is terrifying, and it messes with your mind.
Disbelief and shock: How is this even possible? Cancer happens to other families, right?
Deep anger and confusion: At the diagnosis, at the unfairness, at the system.
This isn't a sugar-coated, "just stay positive" kind of post. Because let’s be real – if positive thinking alone cured cancer, we’d all be healed by now. What you’re feeling is valid. Every single messy bit of it.
When Your Body Screams STOP: The Unseen Connection
I used to be the queen of "just dealing with it." Gunpoint robberies, my husband's heart attack – I pushed through, never processing the emotional toll. All that stress gets stored in your body, and eventually, it screams STOP.
For me, that scream came in the form of gasping-for-air panic attacks during CrossFit. It was my body's sledgehammer wake-up call, forcing me to pay attention to the unseen war raging within.
Your feelings aren't just "in your head." They impact your physiology. Chronic stress creates an inflamed environment that diseases like cancer love. So, acknowledging these overwhelming emotions isn't a weakness; it's a critical first step in your healing journey.
Immediate Lifelines: How to Ground Yourself in the Chaos
When your world feels like it's spinning out of control, the most powerful thing you can do is find your anchor. Here are three simple techniques you can try right now to regain a sense of presence and take a much-needed breath:
The 5-Second Pause: When a wave of fear or panic hits, don't try to push it away. Instead, take 5 seconds to simply notice it. Acknowledge it, and then shift your focus to your breath. Breathe in for a slow count of four, hold for four, and exhale for four. Repeat a few times. This simple act creates a micro-break from the chaos, allowing you to choose your next thought more intentionally.
Name Your "Scamp": That whiny, negative inner critic that keeps that relentless chatter in your head? Give it a name. Mine is Scamp. When it starts yapping, you can gently but firmly tell it to "Hush now, Scamp." This externalizes the negative voice, giving you a sense of control over it. It sounds silly, but it works!
Find Your "Why": In the midst of those overwhelming questions ("Why me?"), pivot to your unwavering purpose. Your story does not end with your diagnosis. Why do you
want to heal? Why is now not your time to go? Hold onto that answer like a lifeline.
You Are the Leader of Your Healing
This journey might make you feel like you’re truly going bonkers. But together, we’ll find a way through. You are not powerless in this journey. You are not just another statistic. You are a force. You are the leader of your healing.
Remember, going "bonkers" was never the problem. The problem was thinking you had to follow a path that wasn’t your own.
Found solace in these words?
If this post resonated with your experience, know that this is just the beginning. My journey taught me that reclaiming your power starts with small, brave steps.
Visit AllisonPazuk.com to stay connected. I'll be regularly sharing more raw, unfiltered honesty and actionable strategies to help you navigate your healing journey and redefine what healing looks and feels like for you.
